Unattainable Affections
by DryingVampires
Summary: Falling in love with Isabella Swan was not exactly something Jasper had planned for. But now that it had, it was going to be difficult keeping this “little” secret hidden for long. Jasper/Bella
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor do I make any claims to it or the characters who I'm borrowing for the writing of this fan-fiction. I wouldn't mind owning me some Carlisle Cullen, though. Wink, wink.

Author: DV's Kah-chan.

**Notes:** This is chapter one, albeit a very short chapter one. I _will_ be continuing this. This story takes place about midway through Twilight, fairly close towards the end, but not quite. I am not a Twilight expert. I do not know the inner-workings of every Twilight character's mind. Please do not eat me alive for my characterization. I'm not perfect. That said, enjoy.

* * *

Unattainable Affections

~*~

Jasper wasn't entirely sure when it'd begun, nor why it had started. He didn't know if Alice suspected—she must have; she was far too perceptive not to. He also didn't know if Edward was paying enough attention to hear the madness that was slowly taking him over. And madness it was; creeping like a black shadow through his mind and soul, poisoning all it touched.

And it was all because of one small, insignificant human. Isabella Swan: local heartthrob for the local mortal boys and now—embarrassingly—the resident vampires as well.

It had started slowly, a small enough detail that Jasper had passed it over as being another irritation caused by his insatiable thirst. Whenever he spotted the girl, he couldn't help but notice color of her skin as she blushed. The way her pale ivory skin was painted over by the dark crimson of her blood. It was such perfection that he had marveled over her, causing Alice to occasionally see something—and perhaps he _had_ done some violence towards the girl, in her eyes, at least.

But, as he was coming to realize, what Alice had assumed and what he had wanted to do, were two very different things.

It'd only progressed from there. Suddenly he found himself watching her with Edward at lunch, his eyes following the way her lips moved as she spoke. He often wondered if they were as soft as they appeared. Alice watched him, too. Luckily the entirety of his family seemed to assume he was monitoring Bella to watch for any signs that she was going to give them away to the humans.

He didn't know _why_ he watched her, honestly. She should have been as boring and uninteresting as the rest of the humans in this town—only good for one thing: the meal they would provide.

She wasn't, though. She was fascinating. She had adapted to their family as though she met with monsters on a daily basis. No screaming, no fear. It confounded him, pushed him farther into his down-ward spiraling obsession with the girl. He wanted to understand her; he wanted Edward to stop hovering around like she belonged to _him_.

His emotions were out-of-whack—he hardly knew what to make of himself anymore. He should have been staring at Alice; she was his soul mate. She was perfection, all adoration and tenderness. She loved him more than he deserved and he was _still_ allowing this fascination for the Swan girl to continue. From across the high school lunch room, Jasper narrowed his eyes and glared at Bella's back, wishing her into oblivion.

"Jasper," Alice said in a whisper, her voice too low for human ears. He looked over, taking in her lovely face with a deceptively blank gaze. She frowned at him. "You're staring at Bella again."

Jasper withdrew from his musings, sparing one more glance towards the table his adopted brother was sharing with the girl. Once again Edward was focused solely on her, allowing Jasper's wild, errant thoughts to go unnoticed. "I apologize."

Alice flicked a piece of her roll across the table at Emmett, who dodged in an exaggerated movement that made Rosalie roll her eyes. "She's not dangerous. Besides, we're going to be great friends, she and I."

"I know," Jasper replied, turning his bright gold eyes to the table. Since Edward had been around the Swan child the whole family had taken to hunting more often to help him out. The frequent trips also made it easier on Jasper, who found he was having less trouble resisting the temptation of the humans around them. It helped that he was almost always focused on Bella, though.

"I still don't understand why you're all so fascinated with this girl." Rosalie looked over at Bella, following the line of the conversation. Her lips were twisted into a nasty frown. It didn't take away from her impossible good-looks. Jasper barely paid any attention to the waves of indignation and jealousy that passed through her to him. Rosalie's irritation at being passed over for Bella was nothing new to him by now.

Alice was defensive, "Bella's a good person, Rose."

"Oh please." Rosalie twisted her blonde hair around one of her fingers. She didn't show it, but Jasper felt the slight shift of her feelings—Alice's remark had hurt her. Before, it had been Rosalie who Alice spent most of her time with. Now Alice was always with Edward, begging him to be allowed to talk to Bella. And when Edward was gone during the night, she was planning outfits for the girl in her room, positive that Bella was to be a vampire like the rest of us.

It made sense that Rosalie was feeling more threatened by the day. She couldn't even look to Emmett for support; the burly vampire found Bella intensely amusing and enjoyed her company. She was the only family member against Bella—except for Jasper, though his feelings were starting to shift into something far more dangerous than distrust.

"I'm going." Emmett stood up, taking his tray of untouched food with him. Untouched but for the few missing chunks off his roll where he'd picked away pieces to throw at Alice. Jasper took a moment to focus on Emmett's emotions, and found the vampire was unsettled. _Ah_, Jasper smiled into his palm, hiding it from his siblings. Emmett was rushing out of the room to avoid the chance of Rosalie getting angry.

Rosalie gathered up all her things as well, hurrying to catch up with him, not once looking at Alice. Jasper breathed out slowly as she left, taking her angry with her. He was not sad to see her go.

"Bella's going to be a part of our family," Alice mumbled, feeling guilty now that her initial urge to protect Bella was gone. She had picked up on Rose's unhappiness. "She should get over her bitterness."

Jasper let his power flow out, letting it wrap gently around her like a cocoon of warmth. The tense line of her shoulders instantly relaxed. "It will eventually," he told her soothingly.

"Thanks, Jazz."

He opened his mouth to respond, but Bella Swan got to her feet, allowing one of the heaters overhead to catch her hair. It blew around her shoulders and made her scent beat against him like a tidal wave. It was a sweet scent; far more pleasant than most humans. He swallowed it like a man gasping for his dying breath, feeling the burn of venom in his throat. Alice clenched one of her tiny hands around his forearm, her face tense.

For a moment, Jasper let it play out in his mind—he could see himself leaning down, trailing his fingers over the fragile skin of her cheeks. It would be soft and thin, as all human skin was. He would push back her thick brown hair and lean in to—

"_Jasper_," Alice hissed urgently. Edward was glaring at them dangerously from across the cafeteria. He was also ushering a confused Bella out as quickly as he could. Edward's furious emotions poured into Jasper as he finally focused on something besides Bella. Immediately he cut off the idea, not wanting the others to see where his mind was about to take the fantasy. Surely not where they thought it would.

It was a ridiculous day dream. Kissing Bella Swan would be disastrous—doubly do with his track record. He'd probably crush her, or end up biting her.

The vampire stood and walked his tray towards the trashcans. His thoughts were in a tangle and he cut them off ruthlessly, focusing on the plotline of a novel Alice had insisted he read recently, wanting to keep Edward from his thoughts. He was going to have to start being far more cautious. Eventually, at the pace he was going, he would slip up and give something away. Somehow he couldn't see Edward forgiving him for this.

He couldn't see Alice forgiving him, either. With a heavy un-vampire like sigh, Jasper left the lunchroom and walked towards his Spanish class.

*


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and because I don't, I have a measly ten cents to my name.

Author: DV's Kah-chan.

Notes: If you want to get an email alert for when this story is updated, leave your email address in your review—note, this is for the adult fan-fiction people, not the fan-fiction folks. FF has a very nice email alert system that needs me not. Sigh.

Unattainable Affections

* * *

Bella let Edward collect food for their lunch, walking along side him as she tried to keep up with the questions he flung her way. They'd moved on from easy things, to stuff she wasn't exactly happy about answering. It was embarrassing; letting him hear her deepest, darkest thoughts and she tried to evade questions purposefully aimed at them. Edward was relentless, prodding her from every angle until she caved in.

"What did you like most about Arizona?" he finally relented, giving up his pursuit about what traits she liked best in the opposite sex (she was _so_ not telling him 'everything you have').

She considered it for a moment. Simply saying "the heat" wasn't really an answer. "The way the sun feels against your skin when it's at its highest point—like you could burn away at any moment." She blushed, because that just sounded like the plot for some low budget horror movie. "I can't explain it, I guess. I just like…the feeling you get when you feel the warmth."

Edward was smiling bemusedly, but not mockingly. "I see. What about your house? What color was your room?"

Bella answered his question readily, her eyes drifting away from his face. There was a pressure at the back of her skull; one she was getting used to in Forks. Someone was staring—glaring, actually, if the unease that rolled down her spine was anything to go on. Her eyes were drawn, as they always were, to the Cullen family.

They seemed like Gods, so far away from the rest of the students that it was impossible not to stare. The woman, Rosalie, cast her a dark look when she realized Bella had glanced over, but that wasn't who was staring for once…It was the other blonde—Jasper, Alice's mate.

He was as beautiful as the rest of the family, but darker; more withdrawn. There was a sorrow in his eyes that clenched her chest. He stared back at her, his dark gold eyes burning. Bella hurriedly looked away, swallowing tightly, her throat all at once dry.

She reached for her soda, taking a long drag. Edward was watching her carefully; he'd obviously noticed her distraction and seemed worried. "Bella?"

"Jasper…" She was stunned by the thrill his name sent through her. She squashed the little part of her that was so easily wooed by the man's beauty. She was _not_ the kind of girl to moon over a guy when she already had someone as wonderful as Edward. "Does he hate me?" she finished, trying to ignore the long pause between her words.

"Jasper?" Edward frowned. "Not…exactly. He just worries, Bella." The vampire shifted on the bench, keeping up his human charade flawlessly. "He fears that you'll slip up and give away our secret. Or that I will."

Bella felt a spasm of unease, wishing that Edward's family had more trust in her. She _loved_ Edward! She would never give away his secret so carelessly.

"He's just very protective of Alice." Bella turned back to Edward, taking another drink of her soda. "He would do anything to make sure she was safe. He worries too much," he added this in a dark tone. Obviously he didn't approve of Jasper's distrust for Bella.

Bella rolled the bottle cap between her fingers, eyes drifting back to Jasper. He was staring again, brows low over his eyes. She felt momentarily lost in his eyes; but it was not anger, nor distrust that reflected there. It was something else…something she didn't understand; it made the blood rise to her face. Her pulse raced. It was almost…_desire_. For her blood? For _her_?

Her hands trembled. Heat pooled low in her stomach; she bit her bottom lip, feeling like she might moan or something even_ stupider_ than that. He was just looking at her, for god's sake!

Edward growled darkly and Bella stiffened, guilt thickening in her chest. Good god, what was she _thinking?_ She looked up to the boy hurriedly, worried he was going to jump to conclusions and feeling the need to explain herself somehow. But he wasn't looking at her—he was glaring at Jasper accusingly.

"Just ignore him, Bella."

She jumped, the bottle cap falling from her tight fingers to the floor. "W-What?"

"I'm **sure** he didn't mean to scare you." Edward ground his teeth together. "I'll talk to him about this."

"No." Bella urged, breathlessly. It felt like the air had been knocked from her lungs. Relief poured through her. "It's fine, Edward. I understand."

He took her hand and squeezed it gently.

Jasper listened in on their conversation, feeling sick at his stalker-ish behavior. This couldn't go on. It was amazing he hadn't been found out yet. As it were, Alice was leaning over, her intense eyes focused on his face; waiting for the vision to come that would undoubtedly damn him. But Jasper wasn't going to let his overactive imagination get the best of him today.

But it was hard—there should have been fear in her eyes, in her emotions. But there was…almost longing. And lust. For Edward? He wanted to believe, but didn't let himself dare to, that it might be him who made her heart thrum so wildly.

Edward was speaking to her darkly, trying to reassure her that Jasper wasn't _dangerous_. But she was still staring her teeth digging into that full lower lip. The vampire clenched his hand into a tight fist, the need to _touch_ her, to run his fingers gently against those lips…His eyes burned with heat and she took an unsteady gasp, the lust pooling once again into his senses.

What did it mean? Blood flooded into Bella's cheeks and she hurriedly looked down, but even from across the crowded lunchroom Jasper could smell it; could taste to perfect tang of her blood, of her kisses on his tongue. Heavy and rich, he closed his eyes, breathing it in deeply. Alice touched his arm, her touch restraining.

"Its okay, Bella," he could hear Edward murmur, tone silken and comforting. "Just ignore him."

"Oh…I, Edward." She stuttered. He could feel the lurching of her emotions, so jumbled and confused.

The vampire stood, unable to bear more. Bella looked over, noticing the gleam of his hair as he stood. Her guilt swept over him as he left the cafeteria and it took all his will to fend off the desire to hurry to her side; to touch her cheeks and assure her that it wasn't her fault. It was _his_ lack of control that was digging this hole.

Jasper left the school and, the moment his feet touched the moist forest floor, he was running with reckless speed, his designer sweater slapping against his sides. Branches whispered against his skin as he slid past, never quite touching him. When he stopped at a clearing over-looking a broad, clear lake, he was not surprised to find Alice mere steps behind him.

"Jasper," she murmured, not moving any closer to him. He touched at her emotions, feeling her concern and sympathy. "Why didn't you tell me it was so bad? I would have hunted with you sooner."

"I'm not _thirsty_, Alice." Stung by her lack of confidence in him, even after such a clean streak, the vampire lashed out. "My problems are not so simplistic. You needn't worry about me slaughtering the children."

She wrapped her small arms around his waist, her face pressed against his stomach. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I didn't understand and I just assumed…" She leaned back to touch his face, tracing a scar above his eyebrow. "Forgive me."

The man closed his eyes, a sick stone falling into the pit of his stomach. He didn't deserve this love.

Their world was shifting in ways he was sure it wasn't meant to. He was supposed to love Alice forever—Bella was to be Edward's life mate. She was to be the last puzzle piece that would complete their family. There never could be a Jasper and Bella; it didn't work like that. Touching Alice's face carefully, the man lifted her face, the press of his lips loving against hers.

Jasper closed off his thoughts, focusing on the smooth slide of her marble lips against his. This was how it was _meant_ to be. This was how his world fell into place. Isabella Swan had no place in that world, except that of a much beloved sister.


End file.
